Over the last few months I found myself quietly drawing away in the early morning hours.
At times in total silence with my focus on the light falling on a black sheet of paper.
Initially I drew with the big lights in the studio switched on as this was during the winter months a logical thing to do to actually see what I was doing at 7am.
I started feeling energised by the way the graphite dots and scribbles added up over the page, much freer than the architectural drawings of 2017 in conjunction of ‘Passing Light’.
I sometimes drew to music, ‘bangers’ by Four Tet or ‘abstract’ spacious pieces by Brian Eno/ Nils Frahm/ Simon McCorry/ Ceeys to mention but few.
My thoughts and feelings became slightly confused to what I am doing, felt mark making, exploring the qualities and interaction of graphite on black paper.
As I created a rhythm to my practice, returning to the black sketchbook every morning my connection to the process grew into a little more knowing and the wish to explore new discoveries round the corner.
Moved by silence or by the music I travelled with my imagination around forms, spaces trying to capture something of time, perhaps like a time lapse that captures where the light has been a moment before and where it might be heading.
Few times through these months I felt focused and safe enough to switch off my thoughts and trust the process as it unfolds.
I want to compare two drawings, themes they have in common, where they differ.
‘Tectonic Shift’ came after a long stream of immersing myself in the drawing process mentioned. I remember the day this drawing unfolded, it happened with ease, I trusted the process enough to go with it. Forms that come up in my drawings…arising here without me feeling I need to get this right, I purely reacted to the impulses that came up, feeling the need to put the pencil down lightly and by doing so moving and shaping light around form. I felt the timing was right the drawing made sense, what manifested itself on the paper matched my feelings and yet I don’t understand it to this day which means it makes me still feel curious.
Months after ‘Tectonic Shift’ and a feeling of being lost that often paralysed me to actually want to draw anything I settled for that I was not sure anymore if my drawing is really anything to do with light and form or if these marks that I am making are the only thing at the moment that manage to ignite a ‘spark’ in me.
Are my drawings still to do with light? Am I, by nurturing this assumption, holding on to something of the past that has outlived its energy but gives me permission to carry on regardless?
…one morning in May 2019…arriving in my studio early, trying to draw in silence…waiting for a feeling that moves me to make a mark…the lights are off, the morning light was just fine…nothing happened but before a sinking motion stopped further pursuit…
I put Brian Eno’s ‘Reflection’ on and made the decision to only make a mark when feeling ‘it’.
This drawing is my response to the energy of the sound in this piece.
I am for now using the same materials I draw light with, graphite/ black paper.
I have been working with music on and off and can see a difference in the mark making depending on which music I listened to but never consciously switched my full attention to this difference.